Posted By: Ai My (203.101.39.14)
Date: Monday, 22 January 2001, at 10:52 p.m.
Howdy folks,
Here comes the next two chapters:-
THE DIVIDED RIVER - An extract (cont.)
Summer has come, Shu Han would complete his degree in June. One day, Shu Han’s mother officially visited YiPing’s mother to discuss about Shu Han and YiPing’s marriage. In the small house, the two mothers happily talked about the wedding plans, Shu Han would leave at the end of the year for his overseas study, therefore the wedding would be held in September or October. YiPing’s mother was over the moon, she had never been busier with the wedding arrangements. YiPing was absolutely occupied by her mother and Shu Han, she thought she was lying amongst the softness layers of silver clouds, showered with love and happiness. Smiles always appeared on her lovely face and Shu Han was always around whenever he could find an excuse not to be at home nor at Uni. He said that they would only have a few months together before the long separation, so he had all the reasons to be by her side to make up for it.
One day, Shu Han and YiPing went to her father’s house to inform him about their wedding plans. At the gates, they could hear YiPing’s father voice screaming from the inside. They came in and saw MoPing was crying by Aunt Xue’s side, RuPing was sitting there with a dismay look, Ah Kuet was at the corner with an amused look on his face and YiPing’s father was walking back and forth yelling that how shameful to what MoPing did, why didn’t she just die with humiliation she brought to the family. YiPing came forward to her father, he turned around and angrily said that MoPing’s pregnancy was such a disgrace, she did not even know whom her child’s father was? To that, he could not control himself any longer, he came over to pull MoPing out of Aunt Xue’ arms and slapped on her face. Aunt Xue tried to stop him she said he should be calm and try to solve the problem. YiPing’s father got angrier, he then turned to Aunt Xue and said that she did not know how to look after her children, she had made his fortune lost by half and her children were good for nothing and brought shame to the Lu’s family. Then he held his hand higher to hit MoPing, Shu Han moved forward to stop him, YiPing’s father looked at Shu Han and said that he was giving his daughter a lesson and it had nothing to do with him. Shu Han locked YiPing’s father hands and told him that he could lecture her but not to beat her, most of children’s mistakes were partly contributed by the parents who were lacking in paying attention to them and let them the know what was right and wrong. To Shu Han’s words, YiPing’s father withdrew his hands, YiPing came and led him inside. YiPing’s father sighed and said to YiPing that he could only rely on her and Shu Han to make him proud then he said he wanted to be alone and asked her to go outside. When YiPing came outside, MoPing was crying while Shu Han was trying to ask who was responsible for the pregnancy so he could report to the police. MoPing said that there were quite a few of them, she did not know exactly whom and she was too drunk to know what was happen that night, then MoPing thanked Shu Han for trying to rescue her that night at the night club. When Shu Han and YiPing left her father’s house, Shu Han was still uneasy about MoPing, he looked at YiPing sadly and said that it was his fault, if he was successfully rescued MoPing on that night then it would not happen. YiPing told him that he did try all his best already but unable to because there were too many of them. Shu Han looked at YiPing for a while then said that MoPing was still her sister, why didn’t she have any pity for MoPing. YiPing answered that she only had pity for her mother, for the number of years her mother had to endure in misery. Shu Han shook his head and told her that revenge would not make her happier, "an eye for an eye" would only bring sorrows and regrets for both sides. YiPing said that if Shu Han was in her situation then he would have treated it even worst that her. At the gates of YiPing’s home, she looked at him leaving with a sudden strange feeling inside her, it liked there was a vague distance between them.
* *
YiPing came to see Pheung Tsu, her friend was in deep religious discovery after the love of her life got married. Pheung Tsue told YiPing that she would become a Christian by next week because she thought she had found a way to balance her mind and heart. YiPing stayed and talked with her friend for quite a long time and when she got home, her mother told her that Shu Han was waiting her in her room. YiPing opened the door and told Shu Han that she would like to see a movie. But she was totally numbed when she saw Shu Han sitting by her desk, her diary opened on his lap, he was looking at her in a strangest way, liked an enemy. Why did he look at her like that, probably caused by her diary, but…what did he read? Why his eyes were like he was seeing a poisonous snake? The air was so heavy that she dared to say any thing. Finally, Shu Han threw the book on the desk, the page with YiPing’s writings in front of her "I’ll make Shu Han to fall for me, not for love but to revenge Aunt Xue, Aunt Xue will get really upset because RuPing could not get Shu Han as she had planned. I’ll try not to fall in the web of love with Shu Han" YiPing looked up, she understood the whole thing, his pride had been hurt badly, what could she do to make Shu Han understand. Shu Han stood up, slowly came towards her and held her chin in his hand, he looked at her and shook his head, YiPing could hear every single words from him "Such a pretty face but a cruel heart, I can not believe me, Ha Shu Han, could be blinded by beauty" YiPing’s tears poured down with his words, if she didn’t love him, why would she be so miserable? Shu Han’s hand held her chin tighter, he continued "Just to revenge a weak and pity girl, you have used me as a sacrifice and toyed with my true feelings. Why didn’t I see it sooner ? I should have opened my eyes at that night club about MoPing?" YiPing did not know what to do, his anger was so strong that made her dared not to explain nor said any thing. Shu Han looked at her tears and laughed dryly "Stop those pretentious tears of yours, I’ll not be deceived by you ever again. But remember, you’ll be paying for what you did to me. Just wait and see what really is *An eye for an eye*" Shu Han then gave her two slaps on the face, YiPing had to lean on the wall so she would not fall, all had really gone, she could not do any thing except crying. Her tears and attitude probably had softened Shu Han a bit, YiPing felt Shu Han was touching her face, she opened her eyes and saw Shu Han’s hand on her face and tears were also pouring down on his face. She tried to hold herself together and said "Shu Han, please try to read my diary further, you’ll find that….." Before she finished, Shu Han yelled "No need…no need for it, I have seen enough and known enough who you really are. No need.." Then Shu Han pushed her away violently and walked out. YiPing sat down on the floor and cried her heart out, it had finished, really finished. Her mother came in her room and asked her what had happened. YiPing told her that it was finished between her and Shu Han, she told her mother to burn all her wedding clothes her mother had been preparing. It was really over !
Was it really over? YiPing’s heart was aching every time his name mentioned, even it was her mentioning it in silence. All her world had diminished into two words "Shu Han", so many sleepless nights when she got up running outside thinking he was there waiting for her at that electric pole but it was all her imagination. He had gone …for good!. Out of her heart forever, at least, probably that was what he thought, but how could she push him out of her heart? It easier said than done, YiPing could only cry in her own room, she opened her diary and read those words again, why didn’t he continue reading it, he would have realised that she was only using her revenge as an excuse so she could see him, be his friend and finally fell in love with him. YiPing knew how proud Shu Han was and fully aware how badly he was hurt. His final words to her were still hanging in there "YiPing, I hate you!, I’ll pay you back for what you did to me" and haunted her every night, could the distance between "love" and "hate" be that close? Only a little moment could change every thing, lover became enemy. But YiPing still loved him, desperately and helplessly. She could not eat or sleep, was unable to concentrate in doing any thing as Shu Han always there in her heart, his smiles and that soft voice still lingered vividly in her mind. YiPing’s mother was extremely worried. One day, she put a hand on YiPing’s shoulder and told YiPing that she just went to Shu Han’s house. Her mother said that she did not have a chance to see Shu Han because he locked himself in his room all day long and refused to see every one. At night, he went out to get drunk and only retuned home until dawn, his mother was also very anxious about him. YiPing’s mother then suggested that she should go and see him. YiPing’s pride had made her declined that but when she was back to her own room, she could not stand it any longer and decided to write him a letter "Shu Han, did you remember I told you about my abhorrence for the "other side"? Even though I was really wanted to use you to disturb Aunt Xue but it was only at the beginning. Can you not tell if my feelings for you were real or just fake? If not for love, why would I want to be confined in marriage with you? why would I feel so miserable and desolated without you? Shu Han, ten days without you, ten days long I lived in loneliness and agony. I do not know what else to say except I want you to know that I love you, crazily in love with you."
YiPing’s letter was like a tiny stone fell into the ocean, not a sound and nonexistent. She waited and waited but Shu Han never came, those real words from the bottom of her heart in that letter could not move him. He was no longer in love with her then why should he care ? YiPing shunned herself and the letter she wrote, why did she do it? She must be crazy to beseech for his love whilst he could relinquish their love just like that. She hated him! YiPing was trying to tell herself that she hated him, but she how could she suppress her love for him? Ah Hao passed by and told YiPing that her father wanted to see her. YiPing walked into the lounge room, so empty and quiet. Her father told her that MoPing nearly got killed after having an abortion, Aunt Xue and Ah Kuet were at the hospital looking after her. YiPing felt uneasy, wasn’t that also part of her contribution? YiPing’s father looked at her for a while and asked if she had been ill, she tried to form a smile and assured her father that she was all right. Then her father asked if there was some thing wrong between her and Shu Han, YiPing told him that it was over, she did not explain it in details just simply told him about their differences were the reasons for the separation. Her father disagreed, he said she was too foolish to let go of Shu Han. His words were just like a sharp knife went right through her already broken heart. YiPing went home and took out her new diary - she had burnt the old diary - and wrote "What gone had gone. YiPing must still be YiPing! Nothing can change that. From now on I shall not cry and grieve any more, Shu Han had gone and had to be gone from my heart. It was just a dream and it won’t come back. Before Shu Han I had lived and now, without Shu Han I shall still live…" Her hands were shaking and her eyes were blurry, her tears dropped quickly on the page she just wrote, YiPing could not control herself any longer, she leaned her head on the book crying "Shu Han, Shu Han…".
(to be continued..)
Enjoy,
Ai My