YYMM - Summary (the final chapters)

And the final chapters are :-

There were only three people at RuPing’s funeral; Shu Han, YiPing and her mother. YiPing placed an ad on a newspaper looking for Ah Hao but he had yet turned up. The coffin touched the ground then covered with soil, YiPing’s mother was crying silently, YiPing could not cry, her tears seemed to have frozen inside her. But would RuPing need her tears, she does not need anyone’s tears for her any more. Lying under the cold earth, she was no longer aggrieve, RuPing wanted to escape from this life or did she want to avenge YiPing? In whichever reason, YiPing felt that RuPing was so much happier than her. The black car drove them home, YiPing looked at her mother walked inside and turned to Shu Han, he was standing there at the gates just staring at her without a word. YiPing asked him to go inside but he did not move, they stood there for quite a while then Shu Han said "YiPing, I need to talk to you." YiPing looked up, dark clouds quickly covered the sky, an uneasy feeling! Shu Han said slowly, his voice was soft and mournful "YiPing, we have done a very bad thing! YiPing, I hope you can understand, I have never had such sin, killing a person! YiPing, in the beginning if you did not pay attention to me, I would still love you. But why did we have to act so an innocent girl had to lose her life unecessary? My mind always full of guilts, I am really RuPing’s murderer, am fully responsible for her death. From now till then end of my life, I think RuPing’s death would still be dangling in my mind. I want to escape, I want to forget…and hope that my mind can be peaceful again. Do you understand ?" YiPing was not entirely followed his intention but she only nodded, Shu Han put his hand on hers "YiPing, I love you very much." His words melted her frozen tears but YiPing tried to control it, Shu Han continued "I’ll be going overseas for study by the end of this year. YiPing, I hope you understand, I am unable to face you, everytime I see you then RuPing’s death appears on my mind. I am unable to control it. How could we have the courage to move into marriage with that reflection of RuPing? Do you understand ?" YiPing looked at Shu Han, the familiar face of a person she loves with all her heart now is so unknown to her like a stranger. YiPing closed her eyes and used her hands quicly wiped the streak of tears on her cheeks, she heard her voice so lightly "I understand, Shu Han, you want us to break up? Yes, nothing lasts forever, of course I understand. I agree with you." Shu Han looked down for a while, when he looked up, his face was full of tears, he said "YiPing, you’re so courageous in a cutest way." Courageous? YiPing felt so sarcastic, no, she was trying very hard to hide her weakness under that hard shell; please do not leave me, I need you more than ever; YiPing bit her lips so those screaming words could not spill out. Shu Han said "I’ll not be back for quite a few years, probably when I come back, you already have your own family." YiPing tried to form a smile "Yes, and I’ll invite you to see my own family." Shu Han also smiled "I would come, to share with your new happiness." Why did they say that, why did they acting for themselves? YiPing was unable to control herself any longer, she has to finish this conversation quick "I think I won’t be able to see you at the airport, I’ll say goodbye here and hope you’ll have a good time overseas." Shu Han looked into her eyes, his hand squeeze her hand tightly, he was about to say some thing but stopped and turned away, then he turned back and said "YiPing, I shall never forget you, maybe there will be one day, when our minds were able to forget everything, Aunt Xue, RuPing…maybe we can be together again…can love each other again!" YiPing nodded, Shu Han took out some money and handed to YiPing "You’ll need this, for your father’s illness." YiPing shook her head "I can take care of that myself, we’re no longer have affection connections with each other, I do not want to have any other connections, especially money." Shu Han said "YiPing, don’t be stubborn, this is only from my good intention!" YiPing smiled "Thankyou, but please let me keep that final respect to myself." Shu Han put money back to his pocket "All right, but please remember, anytime you need any thing when I am already gone, please see my parents." Yiping shook her head again "It won’t happen, you know that I would never wanted to be indebted to anyone for any thing." Shu Han sighed "You’re still as stubborn as ever!" YiPing looked at Shu Han through her tearful eyes "Goodbye and take care!" Shu Han looked at her for a while and also said goodbye, he walked away then stopped and turned back, YiPing waved her hand at him liked asking him leaving. Shu Han stood there for a while then disppeared in a corner, YiPing whispered to herself, goodbye Shu Han, my love, goodbye forever. Her tears streamed down non stop, yes, now she can really cry.

At her father’s house, YiPing was busy packing up her father’s belongings. The house will be sold, her father was in the hospital, she needed to pack things up, some goods to keep the rest will be given away. Ah Hao came when YiPing was carrying the luggage to the lounge room. He said that he read YiPing’s ad on newspapers and he also knew that his mother had left. He was shattered when YiPing told him about RuPing’s death, he came towards YiPing and tried to strangle her but he stopped and cried "RuPing, why? My sister was just a weak and innocent person, she would not even kill an ant, how could she has that courage to kill herself? It’s not fair! YiPing, you killed my sister, it’s you!" YiPing was unable to say any thing to him, if Ah Hao wanted to kill her, he can go ahead, death is not a bad thing after all. After crying, Ah Hao seemed to calm down a bit, he asked about their father’s condition. YiPing told him every thing and asked him to visit their father. Ah Hao said that their father would only be angry to see him as he did use force to stop his father from beating his mother. YiPing told him that the house will be sold shortly and she would keep half of the money to pay hospital bills for their father. She asked for his address so she could give him half of the money so he could look after MoPing, Ah Hao gave his address to YiPing then asked "How is Shu Han?" "We broke up!" YiPing answered softly "Why?" "Because of RuPing" Ah Hao nodded as if he had undertood every thing.

YiPing sold the house and gave half of the money to Ah Hao. Her father was getting weaker everyday, the doctors told her that he would not have much time left. YiPing went to the hospital twice a day to see her father, she spent times to read and talk to him as he refused to talk to everyone except YiPing. YiPing’s busy schedule had helped her not to think about RuPing and Shu Han. One day, she brought some soup cooked by her mother to the hospital. Her father asked her to sit down and told her that he had nothing left for her except the house for her dowry in her marriage with Shu Han. YiPing did not tell her father about her break up with Shu Han, there was no need for him to suffer any more. Her father told her to get the deed of the house in that small box, he said that there were two other items in the box, the jade necklace and a photo. He gave her the jade necklace but made her to promise that she would never sell it in whatever situation, and the photo; when he passed away; put it in his pocket to go with him. Then her father told her about the girl in that photo, she was the daughter of the general he used to work for, they fell in love but when her father found out, kicked him out of the village. The jade necklace and photo were given to him by her when he left the village. Years later, he became a powerful general and came back but she was already married as directed by her parents. That night she came to see him and apologised for her broken promise then she jumped into a nearby well and drown. YiPing’s father was furious, he killed everyone in her family and since then, every time he saw any women with a few features similar to his ill-fated lover, he would make them his wife or concubine. Her name was PingPing, that was why all his daughers had a -Ping in their names; XinPing, YiPing’s late sister really looked like her. Then her father said that YiPing has to try hard to keep her love , because once it gone, she would never be happy for her entire life. YiPing was crying with her father’s story, now she knew that he is the most devoted lover, still in love with his PingPing until now. His love was greater than anyone she had known and though separated by life and death, his passionate love for PingPing never stopped.

Ng Qin Hung and his team had been arrested, including Aunt Xue. The police confiscated the whole warehouse full of smuggling goods. The news had made YiPing’s father so happy, he looked at YiPing with a joyful smile "That betrayed woman had been arrested and will be punished, I am very satisfied and have no regrets." Those words were also his final words, because, his paralysis had moved up to his head, he could not move nor talk any more.

* *

The court case had finished, Ng Qin Hung to have 15 years imprisonment and 7 years for Aunt Xue, YiPing had no idea where Ah Kuet was and she did not have time to look for him. Her father illness was at the final stage, she spent most of her times at the hospital looking after him because he was totally paralysed. Sometimes, while looking at his condition, YiPing could not hold her tears, why he has to severely suffering like that? Probably he was paying for his debts in life but not this way, it’s so cruel! YiPing told her father about what was happening to eveyone, MoPing had left the hospital and stayed with Ah Hao. She also taked about Shu Han and told him that Shu Han probably had left for overseas study. After that, YiPing saw tears on his eyes, her father was crying ? It was the first time in her life that YiPing saw her father crying, Black Panther Lu Chan Wah could cry ? Her tears also went down with him, the pain inside her was no less than the pain her father was bearing. YiPing came home late in the afternoon and found Pheung Tsu was waiting for her at home. Pheung Tsu calmly told YiPing that she had decided to leave home and become a Catholic nun. What was it for ? Another way to escape the reality ? YiPing asked Pheung Tsu why and was told that the way to tranquillity and infinity. May be it was not a bad direction in life, YiPing thought, but YiPing had other weights in her shoulders she could not shake it off for other purposes.

Next morning, on her way to the hospital, YiPing’s mind was still occuppied by Pheung Tsu’s decision. Pheung Tsu looked contented and relieved. When can YiPing reach that stage? She walked to her father’s ward but no one was in the room, the bed was empty with straight covers. Has he been transferred to a different ward? The usual nurse came in and put a hand on YiPing’s shoulders "Miss Lu, my condolences to you, your father has gone!" What? Where is my father ? YiPing heard herself repeating that question. The nurse tabbed her hand on YiPing’s back and continued "It’s all right, it’s all right! He went very peaceful." YiPing has just realised the fact, yes, time has come and her father has gone. Tears filled up her eyes and poured down, YiPing put her hand on the emty bed and cried. Father, it’s me YiPing, I have come but where are you? Why? Why did you not wait for me? She cried and cried, father, your pain had gone but what about mine? YiPing suddenly wished that her father could say some thing to her, just a few words, then she would jump up and hold him then she could tell him that she loves him. Yes, he need to know that his daughter loves him liked any daughters in the world would love their fathers. YiPing told the nurse that she would like to see her father, she followed the nurse to the Morgue with other nurses and patients’ words "Poor girl, she is such a good daughter" What a joke! YiPing thougt, "a good daughter" sounded so corrosive to her. It’s a biggest joke in the world! Her father lied there in that cold compartment of the morgue, those closed eyes were still opened and looking at YiPing yesterday, YiPing stood there for a while until the nurse urged her to leave the morgue.

YiPing decided to bury her father next to RuPing, she wrote a letter to Ah Hao to inform him about details of the funeral and placed a small notice on the newspaper. Her mother was silent when she received the news, YiPing had no idea what her mother was thinking about. They did not cry together, perhaps they were afraid of that because both of YiPing and her mother were trying to be strong for each other. YiPing could not sleep nor eat, she spent most of the time in her own room crying and reproaching herself. But there were things to do, YiPing knew that and tried to pull herself together to face the world. There were only YiPing and her mother and the funeral, when the soil fully covered the coffin, Ah Hao and MoPing arrived. Ah Hao looked at YiPing "Sorry, we’re late!" YiPing said a few things to Ah Hao while looking at MoPing, MoPing looked paler and older, she met YiPing’s eyes then turned to RuPing’s grave. The grass on RuPing’s grave had grown so green, only a few months but RuPing and father…were lying down there under many layers of earh. Finally, they have to leave, but only a few steps they stopped, Shu Han stood there in a black suit, he said "I read the notice." YiPing’s quivering voice "I thought you had gone overseas." "Paperwork problems but I’ll leave next month." He answered but did not look at her, his eyes were looking at RuPing’s grave. YiPing’s mother said "Shu Han, please let us give you a farewell dinner before you go." Shu Han shook his head "There is no need, I’m sorry. I’ll be very busy before I leave." YiPing knew her mother tried to help her, but it was over! RuPing was like a divided river between them. Every thing had gone, those beautiful days together with their smiles, the love words he whisppered into her ears, his passionate kisses and those heated gazes. All had gone to and disappeared into that divided river. YiPing quickly said goodbye and led her mother out of the cemetery, Ah Hao and MoPing were waiting at the gates. YiPing asked about Ah Kuet and was told by Ah Hao that he has put Ah Kuet into an orphanage because he was unable to care for Ah Kuet properly. MoPing moved forwards, it’s the first time she spoke at the cemetery "YiPing, are you happy now that my whole family was totally destroyed; my father and sister passed away, my mother is in jail and my little brother is in an orphanage? I knew you have given the police information which led to my mother’s arrest. So, you have done it. Why don’t you go and celebrate for your success? Remember, *an eye for an eye*, I’ll pay you back for what you have done to us. Just wait and see." Ah Hao dragged MoPing into the car but her words still there loudly "You’ll be punished. Your bloodstained hand will pay for its debts. It’s a debt you’re still owing." YiPing looked down to her hands, were they really bloodstained ? She turned around and looked at her mother when their car had left, her eyes were so beautiful and forgiving liked the eyes of mother Maria at the church. YiPing felt so small, liked a child who had made a mistake and waiting to be purnished, she said to her mother "Mom, I wished I could be as peaceful as RuPing" Her mother took her hand and led her to the car.

* *

YiPing returned home from a holy communion at the Catholic church, it was Pheung Tsu’s nunhood ceremony. YiPing was sitting there looking at her friend in the white custom, Pheung Tsu’s family were sitting nearby and YiPing could hear Pheung Tsu’s mother crying. Pheung Tsu had chosen a new direction for her life, what about YiPing? She left the church when the wind started stronger, every one said it will be another wet winter coming up. YiPing closed the gates and walked inside, a large bag in the corner of the house, she looked at the tag, the hospital sent all her father belongings home. YiPing suddenly saw her father, he was sitting there at the lounge looking at her, she called "father" several times but he did not say any thing. Then he stood up and walked to the door, no, he can’t go, she wanted to talk to him. YiPing raced up to hold her father’s sleeve but it was not her father, it was RuPing. Her eyes were liked two pointed knife staring at YiPing. Her shaky words poured into YiPing’s ears "I do not blame you, but why both of you treated me like a ridicule? Why?" Blood from her head ran down, YiPing screamed out but RuPing had gone, the person in front of YiPing was Shu Han, YiPing called his name, he looked at YiPing and shook his head "Such a beautiful face but a poinsonous heart…..hahaha…I can not believe I could be blinded by beauty…hahaah…but I’ll pay you back…you’ll see!" YiPing cried "Please, Shu Han, I am not and never meant to be, please do not misunderstand." She cried and called his name but he still walked away into darkness. YiPing woke up when her mother called loudly "YiPing, wake up.", she looked up and saw her mother’s worried face "YiPing, did you have a nightmare ?" YiPing looked at her mother and asked "Mom, where is Shu Han?" She shook her head "YiPing?" YiPing suddenly stood up, she sensed something and raced out, her mother followed her "YiPing, what are you doing?" YiPing put her shoes on "Shu Han was waiting for me." Her mother looked at her "YiPing, it’s 1.00am and very cold, where are you going?" YiPing said quickly "But he’s out there waiting for me." Then she walked outside leaving her mother standing there looking out in worry. Yes, it’s cold outside, but YiPing did not care because she saw him, Shu Han was standing there under the electric pole, no rain coats, only a blouson on his shoulders. It was after midnight and no one around, only Shu Han with that lonely electric pole. YiPing stepped towards him, his eyes fixed on hers, a whole world of missing and yearning in his eyes. He held both hands out and pulled YiPing to him, she fell into his arms and he held her tightly, squeezing her. He bent down to kiss her and put one hand on her face touching it gently and called her name then softly said "Why did you come out?" "I heard you calling me" "Yes, I called but how did you hear it?" YiPing could not understand why did she hear him whispering her name. Their love had given her that sense, yes, because they love each other. They stood there holding each other and staring at each other, no words were needed. YiPing could not remember how much time had goneby until Shu Han released her and sighed "Why can’t I forget that, why is it following me every where?" YiPing knew what Shu Han was talking about, yes, that divided river of RuPing. Shu Han then said goodbye and walked away. YiPing bit her lips very hard to stop herself from calling out for him. Her mother came out and led her inside, YiPing looked at the calendar, that’s right, tomorrow Shu Han will be leaving, he came to say goodbye to her.

It was raining but YiPing still went to the airport, she chose a corner behind a large ads pole. Shu Han and his family were all there, while every one was talking and taking photos, he was liked by himself, quiet and distant. YiPing was only a few steps away from him but she felt so much further, a long and unpassable barrier between them. Finally, he had to go, it was boarding time, Shu Han disappeared through the customs door. Goodbye, Shu Han. YiPing whispered to him and left the airport. Her mother was playing the piano when YiPing got home, the song she has heard many times, it’s her mother favourite song, but why? YiPing asked her mother about the song and if the song has any connections to her mother’s love, she did remember her mother talked about that love once. YiPing’s mother closed the piano, she said slowly like she was reading from her memory "Yes, I did fall in love with a man, one and only man in my whole life, your father!" YiPing was in shock…her father ? So the man her mother had and always in love with was her father? Her mother continued "Before I met your father, your grand parents had engaged me with some one in the same town, but I had no feelings for that person. Then I met your father, he was so handsome and those sharp eyes had captured my heart since. When he took me home as his wife, I was scared and cried all day, he was very patient and gentle, he looked after me liked his precious child. All that had made me falling for him. He has always been good to me, especially when XinPing was still alive. He had only changed later on, probably XinPing’s death had brought away all his hopes and joy. But he was a good husband." YiPing could not believe her ears, she said, her voice was shaking "…but Mom…..I thought you hated him for capturing you then derserting you for many years.." Her mother sighed "It was hard to say, probably your father had made a mistake by kicking us out of the house, but then he was too proud to admit the mistake….I always wished that one day, he would call us back…If we could move back and I could look after him, I don’t think he would die that early!" Her mother’s words made YiPing nearly died of regrets, she remembered her father once said that he wanted them to move back with him, but she refused….she thought her mother was in love with someone else and living with her father was only a torture for her….how stupid and oblivious she was….she said "Mom, I’m sorry, I don’t know how foolish I was, never did any thing right. I’m sorry." She looked at her mother and hated herself so much, father now is burried far away, and her mother’s hopes as well. She could not stand it any more, she took the rain coat and told her mother she had to go out.

YiPing walked pass the cemetery, would her father lying in there forgive her ? Would RuPing still looked at her with those sorrowful eyes? She looked at her hands, the "bloodstained" hands, MoPing’s words still hanging in there "you’ll be purnished!" Dead is not that terrible like people always think, only the ones left behind are living in agony. YiPing can not be selfish, her mother, the rents, all living expenses….she has to think about others and tomorrow…she can not just think of herself. YiPing went home from the death land, a letter on the table for her, Shu Han’s letter, she could not believe that Shu Han would send her a letter. Opened the letter, Shu Han’s writings were just about the new city he’s living, people, work and study, Shu Han’s familiar words only appeared at the end of the letter :-

"YiPing, I am at NewYork, the busiest city in the world with lots of things happenning every day but I am still lonely. YiPing, we’re the most catastrophic people in the world, don’t you think? Many times I think it was just our fate. Maybe one day, we could forget every thing and start finding our happiness again….."

YiPing dropped the letter, her tearful eyes looked out throught the window...one day, will it ever comes? Outside, the rain still heavily pouring down.

THE END